REMEMBER ABBOTT AND COSTELLO?

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:


COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT:

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'................

For Laughter ONLY......

Let's hope this happens to all of us!
98 and no enemies - human interest story

All women should live so long as to be this kind of lady!

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

Eighty percent held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question.. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," she replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said,

"I outlived the bitches."

VERY OLD NEWS

but still hilarious.

It's Stuffing Day!

Magickal Graphics

For all those that celebrate this day, remember
the reason is to give thanks for all things, not just
parades and football games. Still, it is a day to enjoy
family and friends both near and far. So attempt to
resist large helpings and take moderate servings of those scrumptious
deserts. In other words, try not to over-stuff yourself today,
but do keep that bromide handy, just in case!

The Passing of an Era

We buried my husband's mother this past Sunday afternoon.

If death hadn't overtaken her, it would have been the sort of
day she enjoyed. It was neither too hot or humid with a gentle
touch of fall in the soft breeze blowing. She was laid to rest next
to her husband of 63 years and surrounded by other members
of her family who had preceded her on this final journey.

Born in 1916, she had lived through some remarkable times in
our nation's history, including World Wars and the Great Depression. At age 17 she began teaching in one-room school
houses, either boarding in students homes and riding horse-back, to get there, or by mare's shanks. She quit teaching
for a number of years while raising her own family, but went
back at age 50, earning her BS first, then taking up teaching again. She finally retired at age 65, but continued to teach her
grandchildren, imparting her love for education to such an extent that my elder daughter is now a teacher too. The other
granddaughters, while not in the education field themselves, took up professions that encompass teaching and learning skills
they impart to others on a daily basis. I believe this is a fine
legacy she has left them.

I'm not sure I want to live to age 93, but to be able to
continue living in my own home as she did, might be an added incentive. And to keep my mind enough to remember and share with others the times I'd lived through as she did.

We did not always see eye to eye on family matters, but I shall
miss her presence in my life, as will all her family. A true passing of an era.

Advantages Being a Turtle

This eastern box turtle goes by the name of Star and I feel a bit like her today. We are both finally ready to come out into the sunlight, instead of hiding away in the comparative safety of our shells. Now that I feel I have a better handle on new tasks, I'm ready to bask in the sun with Star. It is absolutely amazing what confidence in one's abilities can accomplish.

July 7th marked a vast upheaval in my office with a long-time
co-worker not being rehired by the incoming board members.
This has effectively reduced a four member staff down to three.
Naturally, my work load has tripled; the slack had to be taken up. There will be no new office worker hired and until
the other two have learned what they need to; I am IT, doing it
ALL. It's not that the work in itself is terribly hard, just complicated and needing to be done exactly for it all come out as it should. While aware of what my former coworker did, I had never done all the things she had taken personal responsibility over. So, on top of my normal work load, I have been doing hers and all the other myriad tasks she did. Happily, I am now in the process of teaching these tasks to another, to help shoulder just some of these time consuming jobs. At least this person does not have to be taught the most
basic tasks; this means a great deal, in such a busy office.

I need to take at least four days off next week. Strike that, I intend to take these days. There will be a fight, I'm sure. But, oh well......!

UPDATE NOTE: I am taking the entire week off; I NEED it!

quack, Quack, QUACK

Three Little Ducks Go To The Rec room...

'Say, what's your name?' the waiter asked the first duck.

'Huey,' was the reply.

'How's your day been, Huey?' 'Great! Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?' said Huey.

'Oh. That's nice,' said the waiter.

He turned to the second duck, 'Hi, and what's your name?' 'Dewey,' came the answer from duck number two.

'So how's your day been, Dewey?' he asked.

'Great! Lovely day... I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?' The waitor then turned to the third duck and said, 'So, you must be Louie?' 'No,' she said, batting her eyelashes. 'My name is PUDDLES!'