THE BUTLER'S PANTRY

Vigil For Japan

2011-03-12T22:06:00.000-06:00

A country in turmoil and pain

Another Apology..

2011-01-03T13:31:00.001-06:00

To be a friend one must first be a friend and this past year I have certainly been a poor excuse as one. I could cite health problems, depression resulting from said problems, etc. etc. but these things are all still just feeble excuses. I just wish every one of you to know that whether I've actually commented, or not, on your doings, I have read your updates regularly in my email program.

Hopefully this new year will become a more positive period for me and I shall pester all of you, endlessly! I do actually feel as though the fugue that has engulfed me is lifting and that maybe, just maybe, I will feel that I can blog and comment and make sense, all at the same time. If I ever did any of these three things, that is......
it has been difficult to make comments that haven't been trite or stilted of late and I do apologize to each one of you. I will end this today with this heartfelt quote and to say:

Where was Harry?

2010-10-10T16:57:00.003-05:00

Comments made by 16 Police Officers taken from actual police car videos around the country At least none said "make my day"

The comments were:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
(MY FAVORITE)

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."
( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours.
So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."

HAPPY PIRATES DAY, MATEY!

2010-09-19T12:30:00.002-05:00

I believe a bit of piracy must lurk beneath all our surfaces...

What Origami Animal Are You?

2010-08-24T06:01:00.001-05:00

You Are a Crane

You are smart and focused. You love to take on responsibilities and challenges.

You are loyal and devoted to those you love - and you'll do about anything to protect them.

You need to be able to concentrate fully in order to get things done. You aren't great at multitasking.

You have amazing endurance. Once you get started on something difficult, you'll finish it no matter what.

What Origami Animal Are You?

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

DOG DAYS OF AUGUST

2010-08-22T21:38:00.003-05:00

AN INTERESTING FACT ABOUT AUGUST 2010. DID YOU NOTICE?

This August has 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays, 5 Tuesdays, all in one month.
It happens only once in 823 years.

REMEMBER ABBOTT AND COSTELLO?

2010-07-10T22:15:00.005-05:00

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT:

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'................

For Laughter ONLY......

2010-04-23T11:45:00.002-05:00

Let's hope this happens to all of us!
98 and no enemies - human interest story

All women should live so long as to be this kind of lady!

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

Eighty percent held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question.. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," she replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said,

"I outlived the bitches."

VERY OLD NEWS

2010-01-09T11:29:00.001-06:00

but still hilarious.

It's Stuffing Day!

2009-11-26T08:47:00.003-06:00

Magickal Graphics

For all those that celebrate this day, remember
the reason is to give thanks for all things, not just
parades and football games. Still, it is a day to enjoy
family and friends both near and far. So attempt to
resist large helpings and take moderate servings of those scrumptious
deserts. In other words, try not to over-stuff yourself today,
but do keep that bromide handy, just in case!

The Passing of an Era

2009-08-24T18:52:00.006-05:00

We buried my husband's mother this past Sunday afternoon.

If death hadn't overtaken her, it would have been the sort of
day she enjoyed. It was neither too hot or humid with a gentle
touch of fall in the soft breeze blowing. She was laid to rest next
to her husband of 63 years and surrounded by other members
of her family who had preceded her on this final journey.

Born in 1916, she had lived through some remarkable times in
our nation's history, including World Wars and the Great Depression. At age 17 she began teaching in one-room school
houses, either boarding in students homes and riding horse-back, to get there, or by mare's shanks. She quit teaching
for a number of years while raising her own family, but went
back at age 50, earning her BS first, then taking up teaching again. She finally retired at age 65, but continued to teach her
grandchildren, imparting her love for education to such an extent that my elder daughter is now a teacher too. The other
granddaughters, while not in the education field themselves, took up professions that encompass teaching and learning skills
they impart to others on a daily basis. I believe this is a fine
legacy she has left them.

I'm not sure I want to live to age 93, but to be able to
continue living in my own home as she did, might be an added incentive. And to keep my mind enough to remember and share with others the times I'd lived through as she did.

We did not always see eye to eye on family matters, but I shall
miss her presence in my life, as will all her family. A true passing of an era.

Advantages Being a Turtle

2009-08-12T22:20:00.007-05:00

This eastern box turtle goes by the name of Star and I feel a bit like her today. We are both finally ready to come out into the sunlight, instead of hiding away in the comparative safety of our shells. Now that I feel I have a better handle on new tasks, I'm ready to bask in the sun with Star. It is absolutely amazing what confidence in one's abilities can accomplish.

July 7th marked a vast upheaval in my office with a long-time
co-worker not being rehired by the incoming board members.
This has effectively reduced a four member staff down to three.
Naturally, my work load has tripled; the slack had to be taken up. There will be no new office worker hired and until
the other two have learned what they need to; I am IT, doing it
ALL. It's not that the work in itself is terribly hard, just complicated and needing to be done exactly for it all come out as it should. While aware of what my former coworker did, I had never done all the things she had taken personal responsibility over. So, on top of my normal work load, I have been doing hers and all the other myriad tasks she did. Happily, I am now in the process of teaching these tasks to another, to help shoulder just some of these time consuming jobs. At least this person does not have to be taught the most
basic tasks; this means a great deal, in such a busy office.

I need to take at least four days off next week. Strike that, I intend to take these days. There will be a fight, I'm sure. But, oh well......!

UPDATE NOTE: I am taking the entire week off; I NEED it!

quack, Quack, QUACK

2009-06-21T17:03:00.003-05:00

Three Little Ducks Go To The Rec room...

'Say, what's your name?' the waiter asked the first duck.

'Huey,' was the reply.

'How's your day been, Huey?' 'Great! Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?' said Huey.

'Oh. That's nice,' said the waiter.

He turned to the second duck, 'Hi, and what's your name?' 'Dewey,' came the answer from duck number two.

'So how's your day been, Dewey?' he asked.

'Great! Lovely day... I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?' The waitor then turned to the third duck and said, 'So, you must be Louie?' 'No,' she said, batting her eyelashes. 'My name is PUDDLES!'

WHAT'S YOUR PRIMARY COLOR?

2009-05-23T07:48:00.001-05:00

You Are Blue

You are a philosophical and often inspired person. You are the master of ideas.

You are open to many points of view. You believe that it's important to communicate and not judge.

You have a worldly perspective, and you're always looking to broaden it.

You are a true people person, but you also value your solitude and personal space.

What Primary Color Are You?

NOOSE UPDATE.....

2009-05-17T10:47:00.002-05:00

Everyone ready for a scene? I seem to find myself in the ridiculous position of damned if I do, damned if I don't. There will be NO DIVORCE in
my immediate future; not even a "legal
separation" because neither will help, nor protect, me in any way. I'm trapped, as it were, in a 'Catch-22'
type situation.
I am in LIMBO.....Arrrrrrrrrrrrh AND
I am pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting Off the Tight-Rope

2009-05-09T20:53:00.002-05:00

Sorry for having been missing for a while. Too
many upsetting events have been taking center
stage in my "so called life". But the time has arrived to get off the tight-rope I've walked for most of life. Simply put, I'm damned tired of that taunt rope with the imaginary safety net and am now ready for that step onto the firmness and safety offered by the platform at the rope's end. What this step symbolizes for me is that I am finally ready to concede defeat and retire from that swaying rope. This has been a most difficult decision and one that I must tell you is not, and will not, be easily done. The decisions I've reached will have drastic effects on my entire family. It is not easy to give up my long held role as Family Peace Keeper, but if I do not now become MY OWN PEACE KEEPER, I feel my "I" will disappear.
Do I feel as though I've squandered my life?
No, not at all; I have, with all my warts and other faults, produced two lovely, caring, and supportive daughters. As an added bonus, two very decent sons-in-law are also included.

SCORPIAN KING I...MEDICINAL WINES

2009-04-14T16:57:00.001-05:00

Courtesy of: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7992575.stm

These wine jars were found in one of the many storage areas in the tomb of the real-life SCORPIAN KING I....the Rock only portrayed him.

A team of researchers in the US has discovered traces of a medicinal alcoholic drink in bottles that are more than 5,000 years old.

The scientists extracted wine compounds and plant-derived ingredients from a jar taken from the tomb of one of the first pharaohs of Egypt, Scorpion I.

This is the earliest sample of a human-made medicine.

The researchers report their findings in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Patrick McGovern, professor of anthropology at the University of Pennsylvania, led the research.

The vessels that he and his team tested came from excavated tombs in southern Egypt - the earliest of which dates from 3150BC.

"This is the earliest Egyptian vessel ever found to have wine in it," Professor McGovern told BBC News.

"It shows that, by trial and error, humans were discovering remedies over 5,000 years ago, and that alcoholic beverages were a key part of the discovery process.

Please follow the link for more in depth coverage

ADDING SOUND TO ANIMATED GIFs

2009-04-07T12:18:00.004-05:00

I wished to post this water fountain gif on my Y360 page only because I had
successfully ADDED the sound of water without having to see a video and have it
play automatically and in a loop format.

Naturally, Yahoo, will allowing me to post the gif would not desist in ADDING code
that would not allow the water sounds to play.

KICKING THE HABIT....AGAIN

2009-04-06T09:06:00.003-05:00

Over the years I have tried just about every cessation program on the market,
including hypnotism. I normally lasted one day and was back to smoking even
more than before. I tend to sabotage myself; I know this. I know how weak
willed I must sound. But for those of you who have never experienced true
addiction, you will never understand this problem. Yes, smoking is indeed
a crutch I use to escape unpleasantness and yes, I should be able to cope
better than I have done so far. My addiction is a bit harder in that not only
is it a physical addiction, it is also a psychological one. When your addiction
is manifold, you have trouble!

Disgusted with my lack of will-power, I have once again determined that
I SHALL STOP SMOKING. Not only has the price of tobacco soared with new taxes
being imposed every other day and I am spending money I do not need to spend on
purchasing cigarettes, but I am actually just tired of everything involved with
my "habit".

Health and money, you'd think that would be enough incentive to quit cold turkey,
wouldn't you? Don't believe it, never happens, crutches no matter what form they
take are very difficult to give up easily.

I have sabotaged myself twice with the Chantix starter packs. I have enough of
the tablets to begin again by breaking them in half and following the original
instructions. I am now on day six, and I have not gone and purchased any cigarettes,
so far, anyway. No, that sounds rather defeatist and I am determined I shall win my
battle this time. Although you are allowed to smoke while on the Chantix, I know if
I go purchase even one pack, I shall not stop until I smoked every one of them.

I don't need to be reminded of the dire consequence of smoking either. I watched
my Dad die from COPD; his lungs had completely solidified. Addictions are like that.
One can know what horrors are entailed and still be unable to stop.

I don't want anyone ASKING me if I've smoked a cigarette today, either. For some
reason that just pisses me off and makes me want to light one up! So, this blog
is really just a statement of my desire for cessation of my addiction. Now, if anyone just cares to leave me big HUGS, without further comment, that I would greatly
appreciate and will know what the hug really means; SILENT ENCOURAGEMENT.

FACIAL RECOGNITION TEST

2009-03-31T10:16:00.003-05:00

Having been specifically asked to do another blog so my "horror eye" is not the first thing one sees; here goes! I actually took this test several days ago, but did not save my results; especially since I was
still in steroid haze. Not that I did too badly; just didn't remember to save it!

Facial Recognition

This is a test to see how well you can remember faces and when. There are two parts A and B, and each part will have 12 photos of faces. You only have a short time, 4 seconds, to see each face before the program moves to the next face. Part A will begin and when that is finished you can start Part B. When Part B is finished, the test will begin. The test will consist of showing 48 faces and below each face you will have a choice of choosing whether you have seen the face, either in Part A or in Part B, or whether or not you have seen the face at all. After you have made you selection for face number 48 your score will appear and you will be able to see how you scored.

Good luck!

Facial Recognition Test

This is a face memory test and quite good.

http://www.bbc. co.uk/science/ humanbody/ sleep/tmt/ instructions_ 1.shtml

NOTE: PICTURE POSTED IS ONLY MEANT TO BE FUNNY; NOT A
PERSONAL COMMENT OF ANY SORT!
(Yahoo also keeps EATING the text of this blog, too! Arrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!!)

CAN'T HELP MYSELF.....another joke!

2009-03-21T11:26:00.002-05:00

THE CLOSET

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The man says, 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have a baseball.'

Man - 'That's nice.'

Boy - 'Want to buy it?'

Man - 'No, thanks.'

Boy - 'My dad's outside.'

Man - 'OK, how much?'

Boy - '$150'

Man - 'Sold..'

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - 'Dark in here'

Man - 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have a Wilson infielder's glove.'

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'

Boy - '$350'

Man - 'Highway robbery. Sold.'

A few days later, the father says to the boy, 'Grab your glove and baseball. Let's go outside and have a game of catch.'

The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and my glove.'

The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'

The boy says, '$500'

The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.. that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed.'

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The priest says, 'Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now.'

ANGER MANAGEMENT....TAKE HEED!

2009-03-15T00:17:00.005-05:00

Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back.

How do you control your anger?

Wife says: I clean the toilet.

Husband says: How does that help?

Wife says: I use your toothbrush.

MORE ANGER MANAGEMENT TIPS FOR MALE DRIVERS

This Guy Knows Math.....

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is window and gave the woman the finger.
"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, And here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day..
Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.
That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so...

DWINDLING HEALTH INSURANCE BENEFITS

2009-03-11T10:19:00.002-05:00

TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO A CHEAPER HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(1O) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the
trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "an apple a day."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last
month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a
typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A VERY CHEAP HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape!

It's a JOKE....

2009-03-06T11:12:00.005-06:00

Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done?"

The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."

Then the chief leaned back and smiled.

"Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

ONLY IN MISSISSIPPI.................

2009-01-25T09:56:00.003-06:00

EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH

An original true story, written by a Battalion Fire Chief in a Mississippi town.

I never dreamed slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a residential

neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous!

Little did I suspect. I was on Brice Street - a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and slow traffic.

As I passed an oncoming car; a brown, furry missile shot out from
under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me.

It was a squirrel and must have been trying to run across the road when it
encountered the car.

I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it -- it was that close. I hate to run over animals and I really hate it on a motorcycle but a squirrel should pose no danger.

I barely had time to brace for the impact. Animal lovers, never fear.

Squirrels, I discovered, can take care of themselves!

Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on
his hind legs and facing my oncoming Harley with steadfast resolve in his
beady little eyes.

His mouth opened and at the last possible second, he
screamed and leapt!

I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Banzai!" or maybe, "Die you heathen scum!"

The leap was nothing short of spectacular! He shot straight up, flew over my
windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest.

Instantly, he set upon me. If I did not know better, I would have sworn he brought 20 of his
little buddies along for the attack.

Snarling, hissing and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity.

As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer riding gloves and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!

Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a
T-shirt, and leather gloves, puttering at maybe 25 mph down a quiet
residential street and in the fight of his life with a squirrel.

And losing...

I grabbed for him with my left hand. After a few misses, I finally managed
to snag his tail.

With all my strength, I flung the evil rodent off to the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.

That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there.

It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser.

But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary angry squirrel.

This was an EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH!

Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands and with the
force of the throw, swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing
impact, he landed squarely on my BACK and resumed his rather antisocial and
extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with
him!

The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were
continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled, to say the least.

The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand
(the throttle hand) on the handlebars and my jerking back unfortunately put
a healthy twist through my right hand an into the throttle.

A healthy twist on the throttle of a Harley can only have one result: TORQUE!

This is what the Harley is made for and she is very, very good at it. The
engine roared and the front wheel left the pavement.

The squirrel screamed in anger. The Harley screamed in ecstasy.

I screamed in... well, I just plain screamed.

Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser,
dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel-torn t-shirt, wearing only one leather
glove and roaring at maybe 50 mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet
residential street on one wheel, with a demonic squirrel of death on his
back.

The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.

With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the
handlebars and try to get control of the bike.

This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices but I really did not want to crash into
somebody's tree, house or parked car.

Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle... my brain was just simply overloaded.

I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little effect against the massive power
of the big cruiser.

About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient
attention to this very serious battle (maybe he was an evil mutant NAZI
attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got INSIDE my
full-face helmet with me.

As the faceplate closed part way, he began hissing in my face. I am quite sure my screaming changed intensity.

It had little effect on the squirrel, however. The RPMs on the Dragon maxed
out (since I was not bothering with shifting at the moment), so her front
end started to drop.

Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in
jeans, a very raggedly torn T-shirt, wearing only one leather glove,
roaring at probably 80 mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy
squirrel's tail sticking out of the mostly closed full-face helmet. By now,
the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.

Finally I got the upper hand.... I managed to grab his tail again, pulled
him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This
time it worked ... sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of... so to speak.

Picture a new scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on
a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some
paperwork. Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed
in jeans, a torn T-shirt flapping in the breeze and wearing only one leather
glove, moving at probably 80 mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder
roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly
into your police car.

I heard screams. They weren't mine... :

VIDEO HISTORY OF AMERICAN PRESIDENTS

2009-01-19T19:32:00.005-06:00

Visiting a friend's site on Multiply this morning, I found this really cool video of all our Presidents faces morphing from George Washington onward to our newest President Barack Obama .

I thought it such an interesting one that I tracked it down finally on YouTube to share here
on Blogger. The process of morphing is truly amazing.

I hope you enjoy viewing this as much as I did.

Free Comments and Graphics

WOoHOo!!!!

2009-01-18T11:16:00.001-06:00

I am simply THRILLED today! I've been attempting for MONTHS now to add the My Blog
List gadget to this page without success; seems it was broken or something.
Out of ennui, I tried it just now and it WORKED!! SUCCESS, AT LONG LAST!

Thoughts on Gaza..Man's Inhumanity to Man

2009-01-04T13:54:00.001-06:00

Let me first make clear I am not a proponent of war. That said, military interventions are sometimes very necessary actions.

I have come to the conclusion all the violent terrorist activities in our world today is spawned in these countries that have no regard for the value of their fellow human beings. The rheotric spouted by countries ingaging in terrorist activities who then cry foul when faced with repercussions from their own actions make me ill.

I am not only including the Middle East countries either, there are several countries provoking situations,right now, in various parts of our world.

But, to get back to Gaza; I found this remark by the Hamas spokesman rather ironic in the extreme. "You entered like rats," Hamas spokesman Ismail Radwan told Israeli soldiers in a statement on Hamas' Al Aqsa TV. "Gaza will be a graveyard for you, God willing," he said.

Forgive me if I'm incorrect here, but I've always associated tunnels with rats. Now whom is well-known for their many tunnels along the Gaza Strip? Rather a case of the pot calling the kettle black, I think.

If Hamas is also a military entity, how do they justify using their own civilians as human shields? How do they justify using their own people as suicide bombers? It is only by a total disregard for their own people; and please, let us leave God, by any chosen name, out of it; this is MAN's doings alone.

Question: Do the Isrealis engage in these practices? I rather think not, or the entire world would be made instantly aware of it, and they would be rightly condemned if they did so. Isreal seems more concerned for the safety of its citizens and has responded by the only means that is understood in that part of the world...military force. Unfortunately, civilians are always caught in the crossfires, on both sides; it is a sad, but undeniable, fact. A fact seemingly disregarded by Hamas, except when it suites them.

2009-01-01T00:29:00.001-06:00

WITCHYS WIKKED GRAPHIX

Forest Gump's Thoughts.......

2008-12-06T13:31:00.003-06:00

Mortgage Backed Securities are like boxes of chocolates. Criminals on Wall Street stole a few chocolates from the boxes and replaced them with turds. Their criminal buddies at Standard & Poor rated these boxes AAA Investment Grade chocolates. These boxes were then sold all over the world to investors. Eventually somebody bites into a turd and discovers the crime. Suddenly nobody trusts American chocolates anymore worldwide.

Hank Paulson now wants the American taxpayers to buy up and hold all these boxes of turd-infested chocolates for $700 billion dollars until the market for turds returns to normal. Meanwhile, Hank's buddies, the Wall Street criminals who stole all the good chocolates are not being investigated, arrested, or indicted.

Mama always said: 'Sniff the chocolates first, Forrest'.

***************

Quote from a fund manager: 'This is worse than a divorce... I've lost half of my net worth and I still have my wife…'

***************

The bailout, a different perspective:

Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the nation’s economy (and the world’s) to a pack of nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling booze?

Yeah, I feel REALLY good about this…

My Virtual Fish

2008-11-13T23:34:00.003-06:00

My latest toy displayed...the virtual fish, was not easily procured. It should have been an easy task to get it placed on my page; it was offered in Google widgets but was broken and I couldn't upload it. I have been searching for the code elsewhere, finally found it and managed to get it displayed permanently and prominently here, as I desired. I feel as though I have mastered a major obstacle and am rather proud of myself.

The Butler's Pantry

2008-11-13T23:06:00.001-06:00

Color Code Widget

2008-10-29T00:35:00.000-05:00

Get this widget!

NOTICE: I am a REAL human!

2008-10-11T16:17:00.000-05:00

Although I've always thought of myself as being a real, oxygen breathing human, to my dismay I found myself blocked from Blogger the other day. I was notified that the automatic SPAM DETECTOR had determined that I was, from all indications, a ROBOT...or something, not human in any event!

At first I was rather upset, especially when I responded to the block and was assured that since I was answering the block...I probably was indeed a REAL PERSON...but for clarification purposes, I would not be allowed access to my blog until it had been inspected by a staff member..hopefully a real human and not their robot program!

Evidently I have indeed passed this inspection and been certified as HUMAN. Just wondering...has anyone else here in Blogger been subjected to this...because, for the life of me...I can not figure out what triggered this!

GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES

2008-10-04T09:11:00.000-05:00

Thirteen years to the day, acquitted of the horrendous murder of his wife and her friend, OJ has been found guilty of all 12 counts against him in the Las Vegas hotel robbery and is shown being handcuffed prior to being led to jail.

I hated the thought that such an icon had committed murder and reserved judgment until the evidence was presented and only then was I forced to come to terms with the idea he had indeed
"done it".

But, that being said, I am bothered by this latest conviction for armed robbery and kidnapping.
The next ten paragraphs are from AP reporter Linda Duetsch:

quote: Simpson, who now lives in Miami, did not testify but was heard on a recording of the confrontation screaming that the dealers had stolen his property. "Don't let nobody out of this room," he declared and told the other men to scoop up his items, which included a photo of Simpson with former FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover.

Four other men charged in the case struck plea bargains that saved them from potential prison sentences in return for their testimony. Some of them had criminal records or were otherwise compromised in some way. One, for example, was an alleged pimp who testified he had a revelation from God telling him to take a plea bargain.

Memorabilia dealer Thomas Riccio, who arranged and secretly recorded the hotel-room confrontation, said he netted $210,000 from the media for the tapes.

Similarly, minutes after the Sept. 13, 2007, incident, one of the alleged victims, sports-memorabilia dealer Alfred Beardsley, was calling news outlets, and the other, Bruce Fromong, spoke of getting "big money" from the case.

Simpson's past haunted the case. Las Vegas police officers were heard in the recordings chuckling over Simpson's misfortune and crowing that if Los Angeles couldn't "get" him, they would.

During jury selection, Simpson's lawyers expressed fears that people who believed he got away with murder might see this case as a chance to right a wrong.

As a result, an usually large pool of 500 potential jurors was called, and they were given a 26-page questionnaire. Half were almost instantly eliminated after expressing strong feelings that Simpson should have been convicted of murder.

The judge instructed the jurors to put aside Simpson's earlier case.

In closing arguments, Galanter acknowledged that what Simpson did to recover his memorabilia was not right. "But being stupid, and being frustrated is not being a criminal," he said.

He added: "This case has taken on a life of its own because of Mr. Simpson's involvement. You know that. I know that. Every cooperator, every person who had a gun, every person who had an ulterior motive, every person who signed a book deal, every person who got paid money, the police, the district attorney's office, is only interested in one thing: Mr. Simpson." end quote.

This Thomas Riccio sure went to a great deal of trouble to be sure he had the room wired for voice recordings. Why? Greed has interjected itself into what on the surface was made to seem an "unexpected robbery".....or was it unexpected? This is what bothers me about this conviction....it smacks of "set up" to me. You may say he got away with double murder the first time....BUT...does this justify the means used to "get him" now?

These are just my own personal thoughts here and perhaps I am being extremely naive in this matter. What do you feel about this verdict..leaving out your feelings that he indeed escaped the first time around?

FINANCIAL BAILOUTS.....

2008-09-28T11:31:00.000-05:00

A FANTASY IN THE MAKING

Will this new bailout plan truly make a difference? I am not convinced that it will. Greed will again raise its ugly head and nothing will have changed. A better plan by far is one making the email circuits just now...although its math does seems to be in error.

Seriously though, the thinking behind the plan is a far better concept for every legal citizen in the U.S. than bailing out Wall Street. What if our government instead gave us, say $40,000.00, for one to three years. How many personal debts would be cleared and free up money for those high dollar purchases needed to really boost our economy? Think about it...most people today are stretched so thinly money-wise just from putting gas into their automobiles and food on their tables that spending money for other items has completely fallen by the wayside. I don't know about your financial situation, but $40,000.00 would go a very long way to solving my own personal debts! What about you...what could or would you do...with some REAL money...not a ridiculous $1,000 tax payer bribe?